The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of a half-century age difference between the couple.

On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom and come to bed. 

When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12 inch erection, and he was carrying ear plugs and a pair of nose plugs.

Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked "What are those for?" 

The old man replied "There are just two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming... and the smell of burning rubber!"