Three mice, one from North Dakota, one from New Mexico, and one from Texas are sitting at a bar after the funeral of a Mississippi mouse killed by an eighty-year-old lady with a broom, trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The North Dakota mouse throws down a shot of bourbon, slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the New Mexican mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The New Mexican mouse orders up two shots of tequila, drinks them down one after the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the North Dakota mouse and replies, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The New Mexican mouse and the North Dakota mouse then turn to the Texas mouse. The Texas mouse finishes the beer he has in front of him, lets out a long sigh and says to the two, "I don't have time for this BS. Gotta go home and screw the cat."