One day a beautiful woman arrives in a wet suit. 

 

'When did you last have a smoke?' she asks. 

 

'Five years ago.'

 

So she gets out a cigar and he smokes it.

 

She unzips her wet suit a bit and says, 'When did you last have a drink?'

He said, 'Five years ago.' 

 

So she gets out a bottle of Scotch and he has a drink.

Then she unzips her wet suit a bit more and says, 'And when was the last time you played around?' 

He looks at her in amazement and says: 'You're not telling me you've got a set of golf clubs in there?"