An octopus goes into a bar and says "I can play any musical instrument going!"

Someone gives him a guitar which he plays better then Hendrix.

Then someone gives him a piano which he plays better then Elton John.

Then a Scotsman throws him a set of bagpipes...

The Octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman's says "What's wrong, can ye no play it?"

Octopus says "Play it? I'm gonna fuck her brains out once I get her pyjamas off!"