A Polish lad married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so. Although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
POLE: Ja, Ja, an acre and half.

LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: No, I'm always up before her.

LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger?
POLE: No, she white.

LAWYER: Why do you want this divorce?
POLE: She going to kill me.

LAWYER: What makes you think that?
POLE: I got proof.

LAWYER: What kind of proof?
POLE: She bought a bottle at the drug store, and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read - it say "Polish Remover."